"My lover is mine and I am his." Song of Songs 2:16

As I reflect on the areas in my life where I focus the most of my time and energy, I'm concerned by my lack of focus on my husband. Children, laundry, cleaning, bills, cooking, and hobbies seem to drain my resources, leaving me little time to focus on him. Now let me just say that by my doing all these things, he can have confidence that his basic needs, and that of his children, are taken care of; but how often do we take time to just have fun together?

My husband and I haven't been married long enough that I've forgotten what it was like when we were dating. I remember those 2-3 hour conversations by phone at night, where work the next morning was the furthest thing from my mind.  I remember the excitement of just being together, of holding hands, and sharing the news that we were a couple.

Now we talk to each other in passing or just discuss logistics for the week. Rarely do we take time for deep conversation. Dinner is prepared out of necessity and not done in love with joy. Intimate moments can be squashed quickly by a crying child or just plain exhaustion from the day. What has happened?

Yes, I acknowledge that once a couple marries and spends every day together, that life can become routine. But does that make it right? Is that how it should be? Should we not "rejoice in the [spouse] of our youth?" (Proverbs 5:18)

My husband loves me. He chose me. He desires me. He is "my lover and I am his." I want to make a conscience effort to show him love.

There are numerous books available on marriage and how to enrich it after children come into the picture. I think I have a few of them in a drawer or on the bookshelf. But if I wait until I read those books and come up with a plan, I'll never get it done. I think starting with something simple, practical, and straight forward like scheduling a date night once per month, is a great start.

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-for your love is more delightful than wine." Song of Songs 1:2
 
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Living on the income from my husband’s two part-time jobs, has left our family searching to find ways to save money. One area that always literally eats at our budget is our grocery bill. So, I’ve started testing my skills with extreme couponing.

I can literally spend hours looking for coupons online, reading blogs about couponing, cutting coupons, finding sales, and then finally making the purchases. I hunt and click and clip, just knowing that there is a treasure out there that’s going to make me shout Woo Hoo!

As I was reading my devotion this morning, it struck me, “When was the last time I spent that much time and energy in God’s Word?” Proverbs 2:4-5 says “If you look for [wisdom] as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” I don’t think this verse is trying to say wisdom in God’s Word is necessarily hidden, but that we need to use the same intensity that we would in hunting for treasure (or coupons) to see its truths.

My prayer is that my heart can reflect the Pslamist who wrote:“Do good to your servant, and I will live; I will obey your word. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times.” Psalm 119:17-20.

 
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

I’ve read this verse many times in my life and just lumped it together with the verses that followed: “a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot...” but never really thought too much about it. Today however this verse jumped off the page. I felt in my heart it was speaking directly to me regarding my life right now as a mother of two little ones. 

Being a mom of a 2-year old and 8-month old can be so overwhelming. How can these two beautiful children, that I begged God for, cause so much stress?! A trip to the grocery store can drive me so nuts that I wish I had a sedative. Not to mention the day-to-day, minute-by-minute demands that leave me no time to focus or complete a thought. 

Just to drive home the point, I woke up at 5:30 and started reading my Bible and blogging shortly after. It is now 10:00 and I have yet to finish writing. I have been interrupted by an early morning riser who needed an immediate diaper change and was then content in his pack ‘n play for 5 minutes before demanding a bottle. After the bottle, he went from my lap, to the floor, to the exersaucer, to my lap, to the jumper, back to the floor, back to my lap, and then finally back to sleep an hour later. Of course, you know what happened next, right?

Yes, then my daughter wakes up ready for attention. She sits on my lap for a few minutes before asking for chocolate milk and yogurt. While getting that ready, I realize she is in desperate need of a diaper change as well. Then, there was a meltdown, over sitting at the dinning room table instead of her play table, which of course woke up her brother. He proceeded to scream and cry which caused a total mommy meltdown.

I told my husband that I needed a timeout and retreated to the bathroom. I flipped on the radio and Jeremy Camp’s song “Healing Hand of God” was playing. **Sigh** Perfect song for me to listen to as I stood in the hot shower, crying, and asking God for strength.

God knew what this morning was going to bring. He knew what interruptions were coming. He knows my current stress level and He cares! This lesson on Seasons isn’t meant to be learned in one day. This is an ongoing lesson that He must teach me every single day. Today I stand on the promise in Psalm 46:1 that “God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” I must turn to Him for wisdom and discernment in this and every season of life. 
 
"Be still in my presence, even though countless tasks clamor for your attention. Nothing is as important as spending time with Me." Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

As I've squandered most of my precious alone time this morning with sleeping in (until 6) and then running around the house picking up, starting a load of laundry, checking Facebook and eating breakfast; I wonder, was this written specifically for me?! I know how necessary my time is with the Lord every day, so why do I let things distract me? Is that load of laundry really more important than communing with God, the creator of Heaven and earth, who loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me? 

Romans 12:2 tells us "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." How can we be transformed if we don't spend time in His Word? The "pattern of this world" tells us to go, go , go and do, do, do. Yet God tells us in Psalm 46:10 to "Be still, and know that I am God." 

Sure there is a time and place to go and do, but if we don't spend time being still, we won't know what it is that God wants us to go and do. I pray that today, in spite of my poor time management this morning, I can find ways to "be still" throughout my day. 
 
I am definitely the kind of person that functions better when lists and organization are involved. I'm not a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. And I'm guessing that's why I've struggled over the last 10 months since becoming a stay-at-home mom. Having two children under 3 is anything but organized! Now that the initial shock is over, I think it's time to get this household in order so that I may serve God and my family to the best of my ability. 

Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I worked at a bank as their VP & Retail Manager. As part of my list of duties, I was responsible for policies and procedures. Using the DISC Personality Profile, I am at least 80% C (Conscientiousness) so this was right up my ally. After having my first child in September of 2009, I realized that "mommy brain" was a real thing and determined documenting my knowledge was critical. So the intranet pages and procedure manual developed. I loved creating it and loved having a place my staff could go to get help if I wasn't available. 

I miss that as a stay-at-home mom. I miss having a place to jot down my thoughts and sharing them with others in hopes of helping them solve a problem. I love problem solving!! Sharing each others success and failures only enriches our lives and better equips us for Kingdom service.

I would like to use this blog to share my families success and failures as we journey through life and try to serve our Lord and Savior. I know that He has to be our focus as we do everything, from folding laundry to serving the homeless. So, I'm hoping this blog can help keep us accountable and focused on the real reason we do the things we do each day. I hope that you enjoy the blogs and I would welcome any feedback.