As I reflect on the areas in my life where I focus the most of my time and energy, I'm concerned by my lack of focus on my husband. Children, laundry, cleaning, bills, cooking, and hobbies seem to drain my resources, leaving me little time to focus on him. Now let me just say that by my doing all these things, he can have confidence that his basic needs, and that of his children, are taken care of; but how often do we take time to just have fun together?
My husband and I haven't been married long enough that I've forgotten what it was like when we were dating. I remember those 2-3 hour conversations by phone at night, where work the next morning was the furthest thing from my mind. I remember the excitement of just being together, of holding hands, and sharing the news that we were a couple.
Now we talk to each other in passing or just discuss logistics for the week. Rarely do we take time for deep conversation. Dinner is prepared out of necessity and not done in love with joy. Intimate moments can be squashed quickly by a crying child or just plain exhaustion from the day. What has happened?
Yes, I acknowledge that once a couple marries and spends every day together, that life can become routine. But does that make it right? Is that how it should be? Should we not "rejoice in the [spouse] of our youth?" (Proverbs 5:18)
My husband loves me. He chose me. He desires me. He is "my lover and I am his." I want to make a conscience effort to show him love.
There are numerous books available on marriage and how to enrich it after children come into the picture. I think I have a few of them in a drawer or on the bookshelf. But if I wait until I read those books and come up with a plan, I'll never get it done. I think starting with something simple, practical, and straight forward like scheduling a date night once per month, is a great start.
"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-for your love is more delightful than wine." Song of Songs 1:2